memoirs

Where’s the silver lining?
Tears canvas my face like rain on an oil painting. They roll and cascade down then disapate into my olive fleshed cheeks. They are my babies: each one going in it's own direction taking a different path, coming from a different place where time is endless. Where they are produced and absorbed and then recycled and born again. They remind me of the monotony that encompasses my life. They always return and with different tails of woe but all with the same desires.
9:25 PM

June 26, 2008 - Thursday
My secret world of misery
It's no secret I guess. I try to make things better and they just never change. Why am I hitting a brick wall? Does God even care? For real. I hear people talk of healing but I'm just not there. What the Hell is it going to take? PLEEEEEEASE! I don't know what. I don't know where. I don't know how. I don't know shit!!! I just want to feel something real! Anyone feel me? ANYONE!? F--K IT!
11:39 PM


May 10, 2008 - Saturday
No chumps please!!!
If your not in my head you will never be in my bed.

My bed is only where I rest my head in solitude.

It is my choice to be my own lover.



March 29, 2008 - Saturday
Just another gripe poem:(
Current mood: discontent
Category: Life
Care is to Soil as Pain is to Dirt
It’s health is fading and plants are dying
For nothing can grow in the dirt
Love is to Water as Rain is to Hate
For Water springs up and is fresh and new
Rain is tainted with polutants and acid
Numb is to Sky as Cloud is to Deny
For the Cloud serves it’s purpose
But darken’s the light
Cave is to sex as Cavern is to sex pattern
For you can find your way out of a Cave
But you can get hopelessly lost in a Cavern
Desire is to Hope as Drug addict to Dope
For the Dope is what drives them
No matter what they lose to attain it.
Shame is to Leaves as Desire is to Foilage
For when the leaves turn , die and fall to the earth
The earth absorbes the life to start anew.

January 8, 2008 - Tuesday
It is not happening
Current mood: disgusted
Category: Blogging
I wish I could love you with passion.

I wish I could lay you like never before,

but, unfortunately there is a wall we can not ignore,

I am but yet a recovering whore,

to be at your bedside is more work than fun

I long for a kiss and a touch that is genuine

I feel that in love I should not have to pine!

I feel rejected now lets drink some more wine!

I know you are all out there so ease me I say

Move it or soothe it I say!

I know am demanding . I want things my way!

Pay no attention when I catch you off guard!